Mongolia

Have you seen the documentary Babies? I watched it when I was pregnant. I watched a lot of baby stuff when I was pregnant but Babies stuck out for me, particularly the Mongolian baby. To leave the hospital his mom bundled him up and strapped him to her back and they went home on the back of a motorbike. It seemed crazy, especially compared to the rules about nurses having to check out your carseat before you leave the hospital here.

There was also a scene where the baby crawled into a cow pasture and you held your breath to see if the cows were going to trample him and wondered where his mother was. There were other scenes but most of them involved Mongolian Baby barely escaping certain death. That's my baby now and I am that mom.

I know the statistics for atv injuries but no one told them to my 21 month old who screams, "ride ride ride," every time she passes the four wheeler now. I had a long list of nevers based on danger. My child would not ride on an ATV ever, she would not play on a trampoline outside of an approved gym under supervision, she would not ride horses, I would not leave her with anyone nor let her play with older kids unsupervised, and there were certainly more.

At the same time, I read Free Range Kids when I was pregnant and I wanted one of those kids. I wanted her to play in the dirt and to run around the neighborhood from sun up to sunset. I wanted her to ride the tractor with grandpa and to swim in suspect creeks with dad. I had those things and Free Range Kids showed me the statistics that the world really isn't all that different than the world I grew up in. I was damaged during childhood but not by doing those things, not by living and running and being a kid. My plan was to empower my daughter and victim proof her somehow, so that she could grow up knowing she was strong and vibrant and yet allow her to be relatively safe.

I got lost somewhere in that plan clearly. Not that I believe children need to ride four wheelers or walk through cow pastures by themselves in order to grow up strong. When my daughter walks up to a pig ten times her size (how much does that guy weigh anyway) or tries to bring a goat down by herself or looks up in awe as a cow walks right past her, I can see the confidence. She didn't have that before, she went from home to carseat to supervised activity, and back all the while hanging on my leg or strapped to me. She was like a little potted plant.

I practice attachment parenting, I wore my baby everywhere, she slept with me until a few weeks ago, she never left my side for more than a few minutes. The thinking was that if she had a secure attachment to her mother she would become even more independent because she knew I would always be there to catch her. She has slowly become more independent and had just started playing by herself and venturing off without me. Side note, the zoo is a different story, Lucy thinks she owns that place and is frequently off doing her own thing, much to the dismay of well meaning strangers. I wanted her to be confident and to separate from me, I just thought that would come by playing in her room while I washed dishes, not by chasing billy goats.

I know there will be injuries, she is daring and clumsy. She is gaining so much confidence by having the freedoms she has been given here though, that I will risk a few broken bones to let her grow and become the self confident, strong woman she was born to be. Not to mention, her only real injury to date came from rolling off a couch.

Back to that four wheeler though. I really didn't intend to let her ride it for a long time but things have to get done and people don't just ride horses around a farm anymore. I don't know if they ever did outside of tv, but they surely don't now. They ride four wheelers to find stray cows and bring them in, to haul feed to chickens, and to bring the calves their bottles, mostly they ride them up and down the hill from the house to the barn a lot. But if Lucy is going to grow up on a farm she is going to have to ride a four wheeler like everybody else and oh my goodness is it a fun way to work.

Sorry this was disjointed, I have to stop waiting to write until after I get my night owl down for the night. Here are some shots showing how everyone loves the four wheeler and a gratuitous baby wearing on the farm pic. Thank you Kimberly Watt for the use of your Boba.

A Cold Halloween

It is way too early in the season to whine about the cold. We have four to five months of cold ahead of us but since it's my first time being cold on a farm that warrants discussion.

When we moved here I said that we weren't staying inside all winter and I would just bundle her up and send her out. So that's what we did yesterday. Every part of my body fought against it but I was determined that if everyone else could work in the cold, we could work in the cold.

It was drizzling and in the low forties so I put her tights, socks, pants, two shirts, a warm coat, and her awesome hat. I bundled up to a lesser degree and off we went, just in time to see the truck pull away with everyone in it. I didn't know where everyone went but I knew they'd be back soon and there was no way I was unbundling her and taking her back in. We played with the cat, followed the pig, and talked to the cows until they came home. Lucy was very disturbed to see the cows coming in but no daddy, she kept trying to find him to tell him about the cows.

Eventually, everyone came home and the kids came down to work. They were probably only gone twenty minutes, but to my old Florida bones it must have been two hours at least. Lucy started crying just about the time everyone came down because her hands were cold. At least I assume that was her problem as she was shaking them and crying. About that time I realized my toes were numb and hers must be as well, so in we went without doing chores, again.

I had to take her in kicking and screaming but her hands were ice and she wouldn't wear gloves, tuck them in her coat, or put them in her pockets so I was at a loss. Does anyone know how to teach this to a toddler or does she have to learn it on her own? I can put her on my back and bundle her in my coat, and will if I have to but she wants to play and work, not be carried like a sack of potatoes. So that's an option if I have to work but I don't know otherwise. Surely farm kids have learned this lesson for a millennia but farm kids seem smarter than me in a lot of ways.

It is a beautiful, sunny Halloween today but I completely forgot that trick or treat hours are the exact same as Kris's work hours. I was excited to take her out for the first time but I don't want her dad to miss it. The McBees are used to this and made alternative arrangements. So we are joining them for chili and games tonight. Luckily, she got to wear her gorgeous costume on Saturday for a toddler costume party. I am putting it on her again tonight, because it's too cute not to and it's Halloween. So what else do farming families miss out on? Don't get me wrong, giving up trick or treating is such a small thing compared to this fantastic life we get to experience, that it can't even be called a sacrifice. It just slipped my mind that not only is my baby missing it but farm families everywhere are missing it. Next year, fall festivals during the day.

Hmm not a very happy post, cold and no trick or treating. On the happier side, I am inside with the McBee kids watching them do their school work while my child runs amuck. Marcie is going to teach me how to make yogurt and buttermilk soon.

And now gratuitous pics of my child.

Rainy Days and Paradigm Shifts

It's cold and rainy on the farm, and apparently I forgot how much I hate both.  As an aside, apparently I have been spelling apparently wrong for a good many years.  Go spellcheck!  Back to the point, I love a nice warm spring rain, or a huge summer thunderstorm, but cold autumn rains just bum me out and make me think too much.  I'm actually a little grateful for the punkish baby that kept me inside today though because it was cold out there and I didn't want to go out. Nursing a "sick" baby is a perfect excuse to sit in my nice warm chair under a nice warm blanket in my nice warm house.  So hooray for whininess and snot, and sorry to my farm family who had to work.  You looked almost toasty warm in your coveralls, coats, scarves, and hats.  Actually, seeing you dressed like that made me more convinced that I should stay in!

The winds are actually making it a bit creepy tonight, but all of the animals are hunkered down and surprisingly quiet now.  One of the horses did that scary neighing thing like they do in the movies earlier, but that was it.  If you believe the movies, horses make that sound all the time, but that's the first time I have heard it here. I haven't seen a lot of my favorite animals lately because of weather and laziness, but PIG has been putting in multiple appearances.  He likes to hang outside my front door these days, which pleases me greatly.  Lucy loves him and we play a Where's Waldo type of game with him.  I will miss him greatly when he leaves, but Mr. McBee  has promised that there will be another funny pig to watch once he leaves.

I did see plenty of other animals though.  Word must have gotten out that I have a soft spot for dogs and cats in the rain because there was a whole line of them outside my front door and two to three of them curled up on my couch at any given time.  I know they have nice warm beds out there, but not as warm as my couch.  Of course once they start tracking mud everywhere I will probably lose some of that soft heartedness.  There was also a steady stream of my favorite kids today! They helped me get everything put away and rearranged furniture for me multiple times so we could maximize our space.

In addition to that, I had plenty of time to think and the dreary day led me to do a lot of it.  I have had several big shifts in thinking lately and I'm not sure where it will end.  I will post more about that tomorrow, or later tonight after punky girl finally goes to sleep.  Yes, she's still up at nearly eleven but she doesn't feel good so it's excusable and we'll pretend it never happens otherwise.  I have to make it out for chores tomorrow, while I don't technically have any, it feels wrong to sit inside while everyone else is working.  I wonder if it's like that at all farms or if it's unique to McBee, the desire to pitch in and help.  I am naturally a lazy person and have fought against that my whole life, but we stayed with friends over the weekend and it felt really wrong to not be here at chore times, and I've only been here a week.  The idea of everyone else working while I was napping just seemed wrong.  Or course that was before it was cold, it didn't seem quite so wrong today.  Wondering if I can milk goats in a snuggie.  Will find out.

Friends on the Farm

Had a great day on the farm, some of our friends and babies came out to help us clean and get organized while the kids played. We got a ton of things done while the eight and ten year olds amused the babies, toddlers, and preschoolers.

The big kids wore the babies while helping the other kids pick up pecans. They will be available for purchase just in time for fall and holiday baking. I put some aside already just to ensure I don't have to run to the store at midnight to make my sweet potato souffle for Thanksgiving. Anyway, the big kids specifically came in and asked for our baby slings so they could wear them.

It was a super relaxing day, I actually got to hang out with my friends sans babies for awhile. I wonder how many babies they could watch, I could really go for a moms' day. We are overly attached to our babies and don't get a lot, if any, time away from them. Something about being on the farm loosens you up and lets you give them a little more distance and freedom though. It doesn't hurt that Shelby and John are amazing with them. They are fantastic kids who just radiate goodness, in addition to being extremely helpful, polite, and funny. I will be interested to see them as adults and see what the world has in store for them. Jakey is helpful too, he is a rock star at keeping X amused, which is huge some days.

X and CC stayed to help with evening chores and are both naturals with the goats. Albeit in opposite ways, CC is a total goat whisperer and Lennox can take a wild billy down in one swoop, okay maybe not. He took over Lucy's feeding job because she was busy befriending a pig. She also sang to some billies who are apparently very hard to handle. Oh and best of all... Mr McBee took Xman for a nice long ride on the tractor.

For those wondering, baby cow is taking a bottle now and momma is settling down. And now I bring you a flood of cute kids and animals. The dachshund is mine, he made himself at home relatively quickly.

Kumbayah Cow Take Two

I originally posted this last night but then took it down because I was worried about it showing the farm in a negative light. This is real and it's what I have seen. If you ever have questions about the way things work or why they do the things they do, please ask. The McBees are happy to share.

Today's blog is meant to be educational for the bleeding hearts among us. In addition to being a lactivist, I was a vegetarian and animal rights activist for most of my adult life. I truly could not have envisioned landing on a dairy farm.

As an activist I always supported small farms. Eating meat was not for me but I had no problem with others eating meat or drinking milk from humane sources, like small farms or hunting. I just objected to factory farms.

I still had questions about the way things worked though. I thought it was mean to take the calves away from their moms. I realize they don't have higher intelligence but I still thought they should be allowed to peacefully nurse from their moms while mom took a break from being milked. Eventually the calf would wean and both could then be milked. Kumbaya and all that.

It can't work that way. The babies need to be bottle fed so that they get used to being around people and being handled. If they weren't bottlefed it would be like trying to milk a feral cat. As it is Kris's job to milk the cows I would prefer them to be docile.

So letting them stay with momma long enough to get a few days of colostrum and get some newborn love would be the ideal, right?

That's what I believed until today. But nope it can't work that way either. A few days is a lot of time for any mammal to bond with its baby and a cow is no different. Dairy cows need to be compliant and a momma in mourning is not compliant. In fact she throws the whole herd off, as evidenced by the repeated circles the cows made tonight when they should have walked to the barn. Once momma settled down every one else walked calmly down.

"We" had a calf born Monday and momma was such a good hider that we weren't able to get the calf in until today. She spent most of the day at the pasture gate wailing for her
baby. Apparently she will be better in few days but it would have been easier on her and her calf if we had gotten her in sooner. By we, I mean practically everyone else on the farm of course. I was still in bed when they brought her in.

So it's sad that the calves don't get to stay with their moms and heartbreaking to listen to mom and baby cry but if we want milk that's how it works. We have to trust that everyone is being cared for as humanely as possible. Conveniently, I am there and know that they are.

Momma is treated as gently as possible and is milked just enough to get milk for her calf. The baby is bottlefed as soon as she will take the nipple and is loved on by everyone at the farm for a while. Who doesn't love a new baby cow after all??

So that was probably common sense to all of you. The 8 and 10 year olds certainly looked at me like I was nuts for not knowing, but I really didn't get it. Now I do and I am good with it. Hopefully momma cow will be soon.

Here are pics of the herd finally going in to milk, the kids working their colts, and gratuitous shots of my kid.

A quick catch up

It's our first night on the farm. It is really dark but not as creepy as I expected. Lucy and i brought a few of the stragglers in for milking. We also tried to make the chickens go home but chickens are punks. We would get them in, walk about twenty feet and the whole flock would be right behind us. We left them to Kris, I assume he's a chicken whisperer and can make them listen.


Day two- all about the pigs. We were touring the property earlier and found an escapee. Kris wrangled him with a toddler strapped to his back in the boba. Babywearing is sexy but there is nothing sexy about catching pigs. I likely won't use the expression squealing like a stuck pig anymore because nothing squeals like a pig. that is a godawful sound. So Lucy loves the four wheeler and the black cat. She thinks all farm animals are pigs and she cries when i bring her inside. I was worried about Mack because he chased a chicken yesterday so I had to keep him leashed, which is fine but defeats the purpose of living on a farm. Luckily he is indifferent to them today.


Day three on the farm. Lucy B and Mackie both think they run the place. Mack chases after the fourwheeler with all of the other dogs and even followed them up the hill today. Lucy B found her own special spot to hang out in and plops down under the trees to watch the horses. We got to watch John and Jason work with the colts for the first time, we fed the horses and a calf was born. Mostly we milked goats though. Kris hates to do the goats so I want to be able to do them when he has to. It isn't bad. The lactivist in me was really nervous about it though. It really is just a giant breast pump and if you are nice to the goats there isn't anything wrong with it. That said, goats are punks too and are also amazingly strong. The hardest part of milking them is running them to and from the pasture. Of course the ten year old did all of the difficult ones. Lucy fed them while we milked. She takes her job very seriously. Tomorrow we tackle ducks.



Sad day. I left my slacker baby in bed and went outside in my jammies to do my new job- feeding the ducks. Got out there just in time to see the ducklings attack their bowl and Justin dumping food into the pen for the big ones. Duck duty fail. Back to bed.

Lucy and I did the ducks tonight. It's our official chore. I wanted something that I could do with Lucy every day and feel like I was doing something small to contribute. The ducks are super easy and I am going to enjoy them, at least until I have to remove ducklings at a much later date. Here's a word of advice though for aspiring farmers. When picking a chore, to not pick the animal nearest your house, simply because it's near your house. Pick the animal nearest the water source. It's hauling the water that's a giant pain, not just walking out to pet them on the heads.

The Beginning

This is the story of how our lives were turned upside down with one simple job offer. Let me start by saying that I am not a farmer. I don't even play a farmer on tv. The eight year old who lives on the farm knows far more than I ever will.

I do live on a farm though. I wake up to goats outside my window. People park in front of my house and walk twenty feet to get their fresh milk out of the fridge. My boots have to stay outside because they are covered in muck. I am not a farmer though.

My partner, and father of my child, Kris, lost his job in January. He hopped around a bit from job to job, we moved to Ohio for a couple of months and then landed back in Knoxville. A friend gave us a heads up about an opening on a dairy farm. I had to force Kris to apply but it seemed like an interesting opportunity so I did.

He came home the first day with a light in his eyes that I had never seen before. Every day he just got happier and happier. After two weeks we moved onsite.

I grew up in a trailer park in a small city. I have lived in many different parts of the country in many different situations, including a decade in New York City. Now I am starting an entirely new adventure and dragging you along.

We have been here for four days now so I will have to catch you up tomorrow. In the meantime here's some fun pictures.